Lunch Tasting Day

Today we put on airs for the preschoolers' parents, who pay more for their children's preschool than I did for college. It was lunch tasting day. Iryne and I introduced ourselves to the twenty-odd parents of Bear and Calf class with a short speech about how we'll teach the kids and encourage healthy eating habits. Few of them speak English, so after what I had to go through to please them, I wish I would have said cruel, honest statements while smiling and speaking in a cheery, upbeat tone of voice. I wonder what my supervisor (who had to translate my speech sentence by sentence) would have done?

I kid... I kid!

It was an exhausting day, though, undoing each naughty child's behavior all morning: turning the bulletin board pictures right-side up, tucking in shirts, scrubbing black crayon from the tables, smoothing down pigtails and braids, and stuffing vegetables into tiny Korean mouths. We did our best to make preschool seem like a very orderly, well-assembled affair. It's pretty interesting what sorts of expectations these parents have. More about that later, though.

The parents observed their little darlings enjoying a "typical" lunch at SLP. "Typical" meaning: silverware always on the plates, never on the dirty table, kids smiling while eating their vegetables, polite requests for more rice, please, no one eating with their fingers, no food spilled anywhere, no kids wrestling for the last chicken nugget. After about ten minutes, the parents left to meet with the school's nutritionist and try the food themselves. A lot of forced smiles, awkward giggles, and nodding occurred, as we all tried to make decent impressions. I wouldn't say it went perfectly or even smoothly, but I seem to have made it through unscathed. I still have a job!

Anyway, on this lunch tasting day, I thought it fitting to share some pictures from lunch in Bear and Calf class. Some days I scarf the food so ravenously I have to remind myself to take a breath. Other days I take the cover off my lunch box and quickly replace it.  Regardless, we are always served soup, some sort of main dish, kimchi, rice, and a few side dishes. These are more or less normal lunches, maybe next week there will be some stranger ones to share with you.

The top left compartment holds a sort of savory pancake with peppers and corn cooked into it. The top right has a mixture of vegetables and slices of fish cake in a red pepper paste. Fish cake (kamaboko) is made by pureeing white fish, adding some ingredients then steaming it until firm. It is then sliced and covered in sauce.
The bottom left is plain white rice, and the bottom right is kimchi made with radish. The soup is a red pepper paste-based broth with scallions, and I added rice. In the foil is dried seaweed (gim), for which I have developed a strong liking. The seaweed is coated in sesame oil and salt before drying and basically dissolves in your mouth. On a scale of 1-10 (10 being the best Korean school lunch I've had yet), I'd give this lunch an 8.

In the top left, there are mini hot dogs, which we have a couple times a week in various forms: sliced up, cooked whole, and sometimes diced.  These little weiners were covered in soy sauce and topped with a sprinkling of sesame leaves and seeds.  There are also some little dumplings in the mix (the white-ish lump), and I dont know how, but they are always in random shapes like stars, hearts, and animals. The top right contains a very spicy cole slaw-like side dish with julienned carrots, cucumbers, bean sprouts, and other greens. The rice for this meal was served with dried seaweed crumbled into it. There is also more radish kimchi! This day gets a 6.

The soup is a clear broth with cucumbers, carrots, and egg, to which I added rice. The main dish in the top left is a mixture of vegetables with Korean buckwheat noodles. The top middle is a very strange food that I have only tasted once. It's called acorn jelly (dotorimuk), and basically it's the consistency of jello. It is made with acorn starch, so there is a faint taste and scent of acorn, but overall it has little-to-no flavor. It is covered with sauce, sesame leaves, and carrots. I'm not usually picky about food textures, but I can't seem to get over this one. In the top right are soft, boiled potatoes with a red pepper paste sauce. The kimchi in this lunch is more traditional, as it is made with cabbage. I don't love it yet, but I try to eat a little kimchi every day to improve my tolerance for spice. This day gets a 7.

 He always eats all-gone in Calf class, though he usually has to run to get water halfway through because he can't eat much kimchi yet either.

She is usually the first one finished, and she always cleans her plate! No kimchi problems here. Such a cutie- she likes to randomly raise her hand in class just to tell me she loves me.

Kids say the darndest things

As an ESL (English as a Second Language) teacher, any given day has its jumble of funny stories. Here is a collection of anecdotes I hope I never forget.

One little guy in Bear class is pretty smart but not at all interested in learning.  He'd much rather sneak off to empty classrooms or the playroom if he's feeling especially ornery.  He always speaks Korean during my lessons and drags other students down with him in his mischief.  I'm allowed to hug him now and then, but usually he's much too cool for that.
One day he traipses into the classroom with a huge frown and his head drooping.  "What's wrong?" I ask.  He looks up at me, tears welling up in his eyes and his bottom lip trembling.  He mumbles something in Korean, then collapses onto my shoulder sobbing. What in the world!? I call for Iryne to come over from next door. She speaks to him, and after a quick translation I find out he doesn't like his shoes. They look like girl shoes. Not so tough now, huh?

I told Iryne I'm so frustrated some days because I can't understand Korean.  I know the kids are saying hilarious things all the time, but I just hear jibberish.  She told me a few funny stories so I didn't feel left out. 
One day the kids were talking in hushed voices at playtime so Iryne snuck over to eavesdrop.  A little girl (the one whose mother wrote me a note saying her daughter wanted to get to know me more) was lecturing a small group of kids. Iryne heard her instructing, "Now, we have to love Shelly and Iryne because they are our teachers. They take care of us and teach us things." All the kids nod and agree.  The girl continues, "But we have to love Shelly Teacher a little bit more than Iryne...." One kid spoke up, "Why?" The girl responded, "Because Shelly is here all alone. Her family is very far away, so she needs a little extra love."

I have a little girl in Bear class who is really enthusiastic and thrilled to be in preschool but also happens to have a short fuse. If I don't call on her every time, she moans in frustration. Sometimes I think she might be cursing in Korean. She is the same way with kids who don't share at playtime.  She comes tattling about four times during that 20-minute span of time. I bring the perpetrator over and attempt to mediate.  This usually involves a lot of charading, as the kids understand only very simple English at this point.  I gesture good and bad behavior with thumbs up and down, attempting to act out hitting and stealing toys.  Eventually, I just make them apologize to each other one at a time, and finally they close the deal with a hug.  One rather strange boy, who is either slouched in his chair in utter boredom or literally bouncing off the walls laughing hysterically, offended my short-fused girl. As I was wrapping up the apologies, he stopped mid-sentence. "I'm sor..." He looked up into the girl's eyes, staring intently, brow furrowed. He pointed one finger at her face, then proceeded to pluck a booger from her nostril as he said her name, "Huni..." I sent them back to playtime before I doubled over laughing. I guess that's how real friends make up after a fight.

The kids are learning simple things like colors, body parts, and weather.  They are starting to use short sentences like, "It is green," but usually I get one word answers.  However, lately they've taken to imitating Iryne and me. I didn't realize this, but if someone is acting out, I often say, "Heyheyheyheyhey what are you doing? Stop that." A few kids enjoy mocking me when I do this.  They also mimic Iryne, who always says, "Wait a minuuuute," when the kids are bombarding her with questions.  When she says this, she puts one hand up, in a halting gesture. The kids really enjoy imitating this one. Their imitations are usually in good humor, and they don't even know what they're saying most of the time.  One day we were finishing coloring letter "G," so I told the kids to clean up the crayons.  One boy wasn't cleaning up so I walked over and said, "Alright, let's go, clean up!" He looked up at me, very calmly raised one hand and responded, "Shelly Teacher, wait a minuuuuuute." He bent his head and finished coloring letter "G."

I have an advanced class twice a week in the afternoon after preschool.  Unlike the rest of the stick-thin Koreans, one kid is rather plump. He is always pushing up his glasses, and he wears the same dirty green Crocs every day. They're either completely off his feet or barely hanging off his toes. No one wants to sit by him because books and papers are always spilled all over the table in front of him.  The kids also seem to think he smells, and I always overhear them calling him fat.  I feel terrible about this and really get on the kids when they taunt him. He's pretty smart and harmless but also a bit clueless.  He doesn't realize others dislike him, and he always has hundreds of irrelevant questions for me.

 For example, I started giving happy/angry faces for good and bad behavior.  I said if you get three happy faces throughout class, you will get stamps (this is a school wide thing). If you don't, no stamps for that day.  Of course he asks, "What if I get four.. or five smiley faces?" I ignore him, but he asks louder and more vehemently, "What if I get five smileys!?" I respond, "Well, then I'll pat you on the head." Later in class a girl walked in late, so I had to explain the new game.  The Croc-wearing boy raises his hand. "Yes?" He says, "Teacher! You forgot to tell her what happens if you get five smileys!" Oh dear, that was just a joke...

I gave a test in the class last week, and the last three questions were free response questions.  One question was, "How are you and your best friend alike?" One boy thought it was two questions in one, for he wrote: "I'm fine. We both like movies."
The Croc-wearing boy wrote:



"We are fat and need glasses."

At least I know he has a friend somewhere out there!

There's one boy in Calf class who is very independent.  He's probably the smallest kid in class, but he likes to do everything on his own. I have to wrestle him after a visit to the bathroom to help tuck his shirt back in and adjust his underwear, which are usually down at his knees.  It takes a few minutes, but he always wants to find the page himself.  When he was clean-up helper he ran up everytime I tried to throw anything in the trash and did it for me.  Lately he started called me Shelly instead of Teacher or Shelly Teacher; he's mature like that.

After finishing a page of their Alphabet Books, everyone was shouting, "Teacher, TEACHER! I'm FINISHED!!!!!!" I told them to please wait nicely, I have to check each of your books.  Kids were throwing books across the table, still yelling at me that they'd finished.  I must have looked pretty stressed because the next thing I know, I feel tiny little fingers digging into my shoulders. Next, fists are pounding gently across my back.  I turn around to find Mr. Independent giving me a full-on back massage.



My personal masseur

Notes on Korean culture

A few idiosyncrasies about Korean culture:

• It's completely acceptable to hock loogies on the street.  The pavement is covered with piles of spit and green gooey phlegm.  A walk to school does not pass without my dodging a few bubbly gobs of mucus or witnessing someone plug one nostril and shoot snot out the other side.  Nor does it pass without my listening to someone gargle phlegm as fiercely as possible to transport it from their throat and onto the ground. No wonder they don't allow shoes in the house.
• Koreans do not make eye contact, smile, or nod hello to strangers. Ever. Not on the subway, elevator, or passing on the streets. They also will push around you and cut in lines. It's nothing against you, it's just how they interact - very little respect for personal space.
• Koreans greet one another by bowing, not shaking hands.  A slight bow of the head will also suffice.
• At grocery stores, there are workers posted at almost every aisle.  They are usually handing out samples of food, but others are there to guide you in your purchases.  They can be very overbearing, shouting at you, gesturing to some product you don't want.  A worker at the local Lotte Mart convinced me to buy a 10-pack of croissants today just because I glanced at them..
• It's not uncommon for a man to carry his girlfriend's purse/shopping bags for her. Kyle's still perfecting this one... :)

• When you are born in Korea, you are age 1 (not 0).  Koreans age at the Chinese New Year (January) rather than on their actual birthday.  So a Korean's age is 1-2 years older than their Western age. 
• Tipping is not expected in Korea.  In fact, sometimes it's considered rude to bartenders, servers, and cab drivers alike.
• Koreans are very quiet when riding public transportation.  Older Koreans will glare and shush you if they think you're too loud.
• Maybe it's just my first time living in a big city, but it seems Koreans will park anywhere and everywhere.  Double parking? Why, of course.  Triple parking? Just this once.  Parking on the sidewalk? If you're in a pinch.

These are all "parked" cars

• When you order take-out, most restaurants bring you re-usable plates and bowls along with real silverware.  You simply place the used dishware (dirty with food waste and all) outside your door, and the delivery man picks it up later.
• When exchanging something (merchandise, money, receipts, etc.), you're supposed to give and receive with two hands, or with your right hand extended (palm up) and your left palm on the inside of your elbow.  It's rude to take with one hand, especially your left.
• At restaurants (even fancier ones), immediately after you place your order, the bill is placed on your table.  Even before you get your food!
• Finally, English is not very prominent in Korean culture.  Few Koreans speak survivor English, and even fewer speak it intelligibly.  I've yet to find a Korean with whom I don't have to slow my speaking down, use elaborate gestures, and oversimplify my sentences.  Here's an example of an English translation you might see around South Korea:

Not "Low ceiling," or "Watch your head." Just, "Head careful."

Like Americans, Koreans can be extremely rude, extremely kind, and anywhere in between.  I've had cab drivers shout at me to get out of the car and old Korean men shake their heads at us saying, "No, no, no..." when we're talking too loudly. I've also had random Korean women stop me in the subway station just to practice their English on me.  One even gave me her phone number in case I had any problems, questions, or needed help during my stay.  How sweet!

Overall, the culture shock has been rather weak.  I've observed some cultural norms gradually over the weeks, and most Koreans assume if you're a foreigner, you won't abide by them anyway.  The expectations are low. However, if you do put forth effort, like handing money to a cashier the polite way, or saying hello/thank you/goodbye in Korean to vendors, they express great appreciation. I wonder what else I'll observe in the coming months.